An adult is a person who is aged twenty one or more than twenty one years old. The folkbildning approach, as well as the folk high schools established in Norway, Sweden, and Germany vary amongst themselves, but are all similar in that students aren’t graded nor do they have any exams. The child’s individuality, autonomy, personality, and sense of self are progressively eroded until he becomes a debilitated appendage of that parent.
Following well-worn neuropathways and filtering people and situations through the primitive brain’s amygdala, which controls a person’s fight or flight response, adult children subconsciously transpose their childhood circumstances to those of their adult ones, having no reason to doubt that, if their “loving” caregivers treated them in such detrimental manners, that those in the outside world who have far less invested in them will assuredly do the same.
They virtually assume the identity of their parents and often others as adults, gravitating to them like external leaches. Alcoholic parents, almost by definition, cannot bring the full range of human emotional responsiveness to bear in interactions with their children.
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Fluency Instruction In Adults
There is more emphasis on lifelong learning and adult education these days. If you are working and have a high school diploma, you may want to consider enhancing your skills by taking additional education classes. Although an adult child can distance himself from his past in time, he cannot necessarily do so in effect. Thus in need and anticipation of praise and affirmations from parents who cannot provide them, adult children usually feel as if they pull into the gas station with an almost empty tank only to find that the pump is broken.
Having lived in an unstable, unsafe, and unpredictable environment in which psychological, emotional, mental, and physical abuse was most likely administered with almost routine regularity, and having had their trust betrayed by the very parents who should have most been there to protect them, they learned to negotiate the world in a distrusting, sometimes hypervigilant state.
Even when intellect indicates a meritorious action or exemplary accomplishment, engulfing emotion will invariable drown it. Having served as the reflection of their parents’ deficiencies and the object of their inferior feelings and hatred, they can hardly believe in themselves.
They used to be referred to as “non-traditional students,” but adult students are the fastest growing group pursuing a college education. Because they learned what they lived, as do all children, they saw others through unresolved wounds and adopted distorted realities, believing that their parents were representatives of them and were left with little choice but to pursue their paths with distrust and survival-augmenting traits and characteristics, never having understood why they were so treated nor having emotionally extricated themselves from the circumstances.
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